Berlin Wall Party

A big big thanks to Katherine and Ravi, and Christina and Fritz! I think I can finally say I’ve gone from bedroom wannabe to a REAL DEAL amateur dj.

• brought your own speakers? check.
• borrowed a second set of PC speakers from a friend? check.
• played mp3s off your laptop? check.
• mixed with a usb midi controller? check.
• compiled a wholly uninspired list of songs on the theme of the party? check.
• made other wannabe bedroom djs jealous? check.
• faded the chorus out to a silent crowd? check.
• coaxed a few bodies to move to the rhythm - but not enough to spark a “dance party”? check.

With my bases covered, I can set my self-deprecation aside and say, “y’know, out of all my experiences playing out (4 total, 2 complete disasters), it’s never a bad party if your friends show up.”

And to all you professional djs - watch out! I’ll be back in ‘09 with cdj-800s and more mp3’s, some possibly ripped from real vinyl!…soon as I get a room with 3 digits of sq footage and decks.

The Doctor Is Sick

Excerpted from The Doctor Is Sick, a novel by my favorite writer:

A medusa, her long coat as shabby and dusty-black as the dog’s, came up to Edwin and asked him to dance.  ‘I shouldn’t really,’ said Edwin.  ‘I should be in hospital really.’  But he was borne off, too much the gentleman, into the jigging crowd.  He looked for Sheila, but he had become separated from her by two new drink-buyers - thin young Guardsmen, blind behind their peaks.  Frantic shoving dancing went on before the golden calf of the juke-box - a man who had taken his teeth out for fun; a woman whose breasts bounced lazily up and down, out of time with the music; a Mediterranean man shaven to the matt blue; a coach-driver in his cap; a genteel woman in a raincoat, tremulous with gin; two flat-chested girls who danced woodenly together, talking German; a middle-aged blonde with a bull-dog’s face - all seemed somehow mixed in one moving mush, like pease pudding.  Edwin and his partner were added to the boil, and the partner, her snake-hairs waving, was vigorous.  Edwin soon found that one of his bedroom slippers had been kicked off.  He danced as though guying a bent-backed old man, looking under feet, under the juke-box, into corners.  It was not to be seen.  He lost the other one and then, still dancing, felt spilt beer soaking his socks.  When the music ended everybody helped.
‘What’s he lost?’
‘It sounded like slippers, but I don’t see how it can be that.’
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Mike Simonetti at Love…err, do I get partial credit for turning this in late?

I have to preface this story with the first time I saw Mike play out. Just two weeks prior to his gig at Love, he DJ’d at this bizarre Chinatown venue in a restaurant on the second floor of a mall. It was full of Manhattan hipsters, the kind that frequent the Tribeca Grand, Soho and Nolita. I showed up at around 230 (after a Dope Jams party that fizzled out and chilling at a friend-of-a-friends in bed-stuy). Justine D. was on before him, playing the standard b-more/electro. I surveyed the area, went to the bathroom and sat down near the dancefloor. Walked around a little to hide the fact that I was there by myself, sat down in another spot further out, walked to another spot in the back and sat down – this went on for almost an hour until Mike finally went on. I stood up next to a pillar. By this time almost everyone had left, but there was still un petit fou dancing their hearts out on the floor. I can’t remember his first record, but the next one he turned up loud, as he does, and it was a really fun flamenco-ish record. He walked away from the stage in between records to take a piss or something. I love it when DJs sneak away from the decks when no one’s paying attention. I think it’s funny. It was apparent he didn’t give a fuck. The set was only a half hour, but it was full of classic disco – short but fulfilling.

So yeah, two weeks later and I’d finally convinced a couple friends to come out to see Mike play at Love, a venue that really does have the best sound system in NYC but can never seem to bring in anyone but NYU kids. I ran across town to meet one of my friends who’d arrived early/on time. After bullshitting with the doorman about my friend’s ID, we went in and there was a band I’d never heard of on; it was their record release party. Middle of the first song, my friend says I can’t stand this place and walks out. I didn’t disagree, so I followed him out of the main room. He went back outside to see if our other friend had arrived, and I played tetris on my mobile in that ridiculous mcdonald’s playground-ish room. He called and said she arrived and that they don’t want to come back in. I got convinced to go outside to say “hi.”

“Oh that party is so not cool, why don’t we go somewhere in the LES that’s cool, I know a party there,” he says.
“I want to go somewhere to chill out. Can you guarantee I’m going to like Love?“ she says.
“I forgot my ID and can’t get a drink inside…Let’s go somewhere else,” he says.
etcetera etcetera etcetera.

Normally I would have given in, but I was just beginning my “i’m gonna go it alone if i have to” phase, which manifested from situations like this one and just being generally dissatisfied with life.

Furious – I think my friend had said something to the effect of “Wow, you’re really angry aren’t you?” - I strode back inside and played more tetris for about an hour in the second floor cubby, while the jazz band played whatever it was they played. I was beginning to lose hope as the night approached 1, so I went in to the main room. Good timing, Mike went on just moments after. It wasn’t particularly packed - still the same crowd as earlier in the night, though Kon and Amir were there kuz they were playing later.

First record was a non-dance, set the mood, folky thing. The trick worked again, and at full volume, the second record sent everyone nuts. I can’t really say what he played – stuff that sounded like early house, disco, vocal stuff, a record that had a nice sonic breakdown, which was probably awesome for its time and could only work on Love’s sound system. I had 3 beers, which is a lot for me. One record had this bass melody that kept returning to me for weeks on end, which rarely happens. Turned out to be pointer sisters’ send him back (pilooski edit). The whole room was dancing really hard and Mike was playing shit probably only Kon & Amir knew. The bartender was genuinely interested: “who is this guy?? he’s tearing it up.”

It was another short set, about an hour long. But unbelievable. I want to say it’s the best 1 hour set I’ve ever heard in a club, and I said as much in the phone call to my sister at 330.

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Halfa 2008

alright… short n sweet, this’ll be…

songs on constant replay, january-june 2008:

busta rhymes – don’t touch me – it’s good to hear busta having what sounds like FUN after who knows how long (a decade?) the lame thug persona he’s been cultivating for years now doesn’t fit the character we all fell in love with throughout the 90s- that rambunctious, goofy, lovable MC going nuts over some some appropriately nutty beats (gimme some more, dangerous, put your hands where my eyes could see, woo-hah… the list goes on). dunno what his new album’ll sound like, but this track gives me great hope…

prgz – bama gettin’ money (diplo remix) – this is SUCH a reply to three 6 mafia’s “stay fly”! love it! extra points for flipping bad 80s cheese (wham!) into something so menacing.

good dubstep tracks:
silkie – sky’s the limit
headhunter – horny teen
skream – tek-a-pill

most dubstep still sucks, and whatever promise it held three years ago has been rendered obsolete by a conveyor belt stream of wobbly, faux-ragga, cheap-thrill bullshit. but these three! silkie has the EEEEEEPIC synths, headhunter the sleaze, and skream the zombie vibe.

duke dumont – almost all he’s done – he’s one of a small handful of producers making *QUALITY* XXXXXX house (don’t know what it’s called anymore, don’t care) that everyone loves so much nowadays. the trick is, his glitches and edits and whatever other elements he uses actually PROPEL his songs, not just attempt vainly at giving the beat a “hard, distorted” feel. his take on debbie deb’s “when i hear music” is the definitive one, “lean and bounce” achieves the gritty texture everyone’s failed at, and the remix of missy’s “we run this” sounds riotous. awesome!

kanye west – flashing lights (video; first version) – why was there a second version made? was there not enough appreciation for the cinematically mesmerizing accompaniment to one of last year’s best songs? did we need some corny, forced, tremendously clichéd new york sob story instead? blah.

bun b – you’re everything – it has a crazy jodeci sample and that buzzsaw bass (trae – cadillac!!!) that i canNOT resist.

special mention:

sometime before summer last year, i came upon a bangladesh-produced track called “amilly” starring then-unknown (and now completely vanished?) rapper charlie mackenroe. the minimal, massive boom-clack beat was one of the year’s very best, though i forgot to mention it in december. this year, the beat was given to lil’ wayne (it’s “a milli” now), but you know what? the charlie mackenroe version was better! lil’ wayne’s stream-of-consciousness flow is all diminishing returns on this monster of a thumper, and even though this mackenroe guy was a no-mark, at least he gave his version a chorus, shitty as it was. anyway, helluva beat. oh, and there’re an endless pile of freestyles over this beat by a bunch of people now… they all stink!

from the top of mt. fuji, even though that lake makes it look like i’m at surface level…

sets on constant replay, january-june 2008

dj clever – offshore records mix – may – bless offshore records! makes you wish it was 1997, when dnb was the truth.

diplo – mad decent worldwide radio #27 – diplo’s often most on point in off-the-cuff sets like these, truly the sign of a great dj.
PRGz - Bama Gettin Money (Diplo Remix)

ghislain poirier – bring the fire – a ghislain poirier set is always gold before even listening.

dj wonder – april 1xtra dubstep mix – GOOD dubstep, no wobbly inanity, great selection, great sequencing… what a relief!

joker – skream stella sessions mix, may 2008 – the only other good dubstep mix so far this year.

and the very best of the last six months…

two entries!

1) JOKER – SNAKE EATER!!!

godDAMN, what a tune. i was gonna lump it with the other dubstep tracks i mentioned above, but… godDAMN, what a tune! this has it all. in a perfect world, this would be the worldwide summer anthem.

2) RUSTIE!!!

his showcase mix on mary anne hobbs’ radio1 show last april was a revelation in the way few things are nowadays, primarily because rustie has accomplished what is perhaps the most virtuous musical feat of all: culling your influences and morphing them into something unique, distinct, and wholly original. we can talk about how rustie employs a bit of dubstep here, hip-hop there, rnb here and such, but NOBODY sounds like HIM. he’s in a league of his own, he’s amazing, and he’s destined for greatness.

rustie on mary anne hobbs’ 1xtra show – april 23^rd, 2008

rustie & hudson mohawk – 4AM drunken mix

rustie – gutterish mix

everything on this list is easily googleable!

see you in december!

PS- you know what song SUCKS?! Estelle – American Boy. WHAT THE FFFFFF!?! TRASH!!!! more »

OYSTER World Fashion.

Just picked up the “new” issue. I’ve wanted to hate this magazine/”book” for the past few months because it changed its look and gained a little popularity - sort of became “World Hipster” instead of “World Fashion.” I started reading Jalouse, exploring online magazines and getting all uppity with my “do your own research” skills, following webpage links and “discovering” designers without the aid of a high gloss periodical. But alas, every edition of Oyster shows me who’s boss, and I’ve yet to flip through one and come away uninspired. Unbelievable. Big up the editors, directors, photographers, stylists, writers, designers, contributors of Oyster.

Bernhard Willhelm Women’s FW 07-08

His clothing has the fun/craziness factor but errs on the DIY side. The photoshoot for this collection is genius, though. And here is a video interview (subtitles, but no sound?) and a more informative text interview.